Saturday, February 10, 2001

So I'm having this huge job crisis. I don't want to work as a temp anymore. I haven't had a job I really enjoyed since I left the hospital, but I don't want to go back there. I really would like to go back to school, but I don't know for sure what I want to study. So I'm thinking back to when I was in college and trying to think of classes I enjoyed and am coming up with a big fat blank. Then, for some reason I remembered this time I was getting gas at QT and this hearse pulled up next to me. The guy got out, said "hi, how are you?" Fine, I said, how are you? He looked at me for a second, smiled real big and said, "Oh. Busy."

I just about fell down laughing.

I've always been a pretty morbid person. You have to be to work in a hospital. You should hear what nurses consider lunch time conversation.

I think I had an epiphany.

This isn't the first time I've considered a career in the funeral home business. It's not all that different from nursing school, most of the classes are the same until you get to the embalming portion of the course. The question isn't whether I can handle doing the job, it's whether my friends and family will be able to handle me doing it. But that said, every time I think about going into the funeral home business I get this overwhelming sense of rightness and relief, like that is what I'm supposed to be doing with my life.

But I don't think my family will ever, ever understand.


thus spake xen at 8:14 PM | link-um

Friday, February 09, 2001

I'm starting a new job today, at a doctor's office, and I'm not sure about it either. It's way the hell on the other side of town, and I don't really have the business wardrobe necessary for working in a doctor's office. I'm a business casual kinda gal. And the girl at the temp agency who told me about it said I needed to be "all about work" and keep myself looking busy, which is never a good sign. That means in temp agency speak that they really don't need a temp employee, but they want to try it out and see. That means there is not enough work to keep me busy all day, which really, really sucks, because then I have to try to justify my being there five hours. grrr And who wants to start a new job on a Friday afternoon?

I got my state tax refund yesturday, so its not like I'm so broke that I have to take this job. I'll be getting my federal any day now, so I could afford to take a break from the constant temp switching. Maybe I should try to find a permanant job. I've been hanging on to this slacker work ethic long enough.

Then again, maybe not. I hate committing myself. I like being able to say no to a job and move on to the next one. Who knows. I just know I wanna stay home today. It was 75 degrees yesturday, today it's 30 and raining. I'm gonna get sick, I just know it. Stupid Oklahoma weather.


thus spake xen at 8:58 AM | link-um

Thursday, February 08, 2001

Ok I gotta get in on the whole Spike loves Buffy debate.

Spike is most definately not acting out of character. Spike's fatal flaw all along has been his ability to feel love despite being a demon without a soul. In the season 2 episode "Surprise" the Judge nearly kills Spike and Drucilla because "they reek of humanity. They share jealousy and affection." But of Angelus the Judge states "there's no humanity in him." This was the night after Angel and Buffy's first night together, yet he has no love left in him after he loses his soul. In one of the recent Angel eps, Angel tells Darla that in 150 years of being with her, he never loved her, because he didn't have a soul. Yet Spike very clearly loved Dru, and his feelings for Buffy are quite real. Spike, therefore, is a better being than Angel, because he can feel love without having a soul, something Angel cannot do. The chip in his head has allowed him to get close to Buffy and the Scoobies, but it is not the reason why he is able to fall in love her.

But do I want to see Spike and Buffy get together? Hell no! But it might be enjoyable to see Buffy rip out his unbeating heart and stomp all over it. Of course, YMMV.


thus spake xen at 4:56 AM | link-um

That was probably the shortest amount of time I've ever used a layout, but I have an allergic reaction to white backgrounds, hence a new layout for my home page. Now if I can just figure out what I want to do with the blogs. I'm really sick of this grey grid layout.


thus spake xen at 12:19 AM | link-um

Wednesday, February 07, 2001

And I just have to say this. Brian is turning into a real human being, and I find myself loving him more and more with each episode. I challenge anyone to watch episode #108 and still say Brian is a shallow character. This show isn't just about sex anymore, its turning into a really great story. The characters are developing, the stories are believable. Just brilliant. I love it when the critics are wrong. So many people tried to compare the hour and a half premiere to all eight hours of the UK version and say that the US version sucked in comparison. They were sooo wrong. I just wish it was on everyday like Young and the Restless. That would be absolute heaven.


thus spake xen at 12:24 PM | link-um

Tuesday, February 06, 2001