AUTHOR: Babygirl lizlee@star.net

PAIRING: John/D’Argo, D’Argo/Misc. Female

RATING: R to NC-17 semi-descriptive m/m and m/f sex, harsh language.

SUMMARY: D'Argo is caught in an act of betrayal and must face the consequences.

NOTES: This is a sequel to my story "Emptiness Lost" and the "Blood Brothers" series by Aiobheann.

DISCLAIMER: These characters belong to Henson and the SciFi Channel, and no copyright infringement is intended by my use of them. The characters may not belong to me, but the story and my original characters do. Copyright 1999, Babygirl.

The song "In Your Eyes" was written by Peter Gabriel and is the property of Geffen Records.

FEEDBACK: I would love some.

ARCHIVE: Aiobheann's Farscape Slash, Smutscape, LALEA

"Can I come in?"

Turning around D'Argo saw Eilynn standing in the doorway of his quarters.

She walked in and smiled at him. It was that same sweet smile he'd remembered so fondly.

Raising her hand she ran her fingers along the exposed part of his chest. The shiny exoskeleton that covered their tips felt smooth and warm against his skin.

Looking down into her eyes he put his hand over hers and removed it from his chest. "I need you to be honest with me."

She took a step back and sighed. "Fine, you want the truth? Well I was injecting myself with the Tavlek gauntlet drug. I'm not the sweet innocent girl you used to know. I’m a drug addict."

"Why?" D'Argo's voice was filled with disbelief.

Eilynn lowered her eyes; suddenly she couldn't bear to look at him. "I lost something. Something very precious to me and I wanted to die…but the Tavlek drug has made it possible to keep going." She walked past him and stood facing the wall.

D'Argo wanted to walk over and put his arms around her. She looked so alone. "What did you lose?"

Eilynn didn’t speak; instead she brought her arms up around her and lowered her head.

The silence lasted a long time; finally D'Argo took a step forward. He couldn't bear to see her looking so alone. "Please, Eilynn. You can tell me."

"I lost our baby." She blurted out.

D'Argo stopped in his tracks, mouth gaping open.

Eilynn stayed facing the wall as she spoke. "Shortly after I joined the crew of the I-Tone I found out I was pregnant."

D'Argo stayed where he was, silent.

Eilynn turned to look at him; her face was calm although she struggled to keep it that way. "Don't look so surprised. I am, after all, a hive breeder."

D'Argo closed his eyes. "A baby… I wish I had known."

Eilynn bit down on her lower lip in an effort to keep her expression calm. "I wanted you to know but Moya had starburst away. I had no way of finding you."

D'Argo's eyes took on such a look of sadness and he swallowed hard. "What happened?"

Eilynn swallowed as well, looking away. "It was my fault. There was so much to do. I put too much strain on my body. I didn’t rest enough…I was stupid." She lowered her head. "The baby came early, too early. It wasn't ready."

She turned to him again, she looked as if she wanted to cry but there were no tears in her eyes. "I was careless and stupid and because of that my baby…our baby…our sweet, lovely baby died."

D'Argo opened his mouth to speak but he couldn't think of anything to say.

"It was a girl," Eilynn continued, filling the awkward silence. "A beautiful Luxan girl."

D'Argo still looked at her in silence. His eyes filled with a profound sadness at the knowledge that he had a daughter he would never know.

"I gave her a Luxan name," she said. "I called her Kia."

"Divine Gift," he whispered.

Eilynn nodded holding up her opened hands. "She was the most divine gift and I lost her. I wanted to die myself; my arms ached from being empty. I couldn't eat, couldn’t sleep. I stared taking the Tavlek drug just to get out of bed. It kept me going, kept me moving, kept me from putting a gun to my head."

She looked up at D'Argo again but this time her eyes were wide and desperate. "Through all of that the Peacekeepers attacked. El-Luanne died and suddenly everyone was looking to me. We found Meyla and she seemed to need me so much and everything became my responsibility and it all just became too much to handle. I know if I didn't have the Tavlek drug I couldn't have done all of this. It's what's kept me going." Eilynn was now rambling. "I want to get off of it, I don't like being dependent on it but right now I can't. There's still so much to do and everyone's counting on me and I just…"

She stopped as D'Argo reached up and cupped her face in his hands, caressing her cheeks with his thumbs. "I wish I could've been there to help you and take care of you." It hurt him to see what she had become. He felt as if he'd abandoned her when she needed him most.

Eilynn pressed herself close to him, burying her face in his chest. "You're here now. Just let me lean on you. Just let me rest for a few microts."

He wrapped his arms around her. He caressed her back with one hand and her head with the other. She felt so small and frail in his embrace. Leaning his head down he kissed her softly on the top of the head.

Eilynn reached up and ran her fingers through his beard. Gripping tightly to the coarse hair she yanked his head down and planted her mouth on his. D'Argo was momentarily surprised by this feverish kiss. It was as if she was trying to make up for their time apart in this one moment.

Recovering quickly he scooped her up in his arms and carried her over to his bed. It was clear what they both wanted. Placing her down he then tried to climb on top of her but she rebelled, pushing him back so hard that he lost his balance. He let out a grunt as he fell onto the bed, landing on his back. Eilynn moved on top of him and began yanking hard at his clothes. If she could, D'Argo felt she would've torn the thick material off him.

Undoing the clasps of his tunic, Eilynn pulled D'Argo up into a sitting position so she could yank the heavy garment off his arms, her small frame hiding a great strength that was being fueled by her desire.

Once his tunic was off she moved back and began pulling his boots. D'Argo found himself letting out a chuckle as his body was jerked about with her frantic undressing of him.

"Take it easy." he laughed as he was nearly pulled off balance again.

She didn't seem to be paying attention as she removed his boots and then moved quickly to the laces of his breeches.

"Hey!" he shouted as he grabbed her by the shoulders and pulled her up to face him.

Eilynn's eyes flashed a frantic desperation. They had the look of a life that was lived in a hurry.

"Slow down, we have time." D'Argo's voice was like cool liquid, his voice hypnotic.

Slowly her expression softened and he could feel her muscles relax. He pulled her close and began kissing her neck, licking and nibbling the soft flesh in much the same way he often did to Crichton.

Eilynn seemed to melt into his arms as if she was finally given leave to enjoy herself. From then on the lovemaking moved in slow motion. Eilynn took her time tasting D'Argo's skin. Kissing and licking every inch of him. Feeling and learning every muscle and tendon that stretched under his skin.

D'Argo too, reveled at the feel of her body. So soft, so small, so different from Crichton. As he kissed and caressed her a part of his thoughts were always with his Sword Brother, always comparing.

When he was with Crichton there was always an underlying battle of wills. D'Argo was the dominant partner but he had to constantly re-assert his status and keep John submissive. It was sometimes like a wrestling match, two powerful bodies struggling to hold the other down. It was good though; D'Argo liked the struggle. It added fire to the passion and heat to the already aroused flesh.

Yes, being with Crichton was very good.

But, being with Eilynn was good too. Good in a different way. He was male and she was female. Their positions were clearly established. One was not weaker or stronger than the other. They each had their set roles. D'Argo found peacefulness in it. He didn't have to keep his guard up, just go with it. No fight for dominance, no struggle of wills.

Yes being with Eilynn was very good.

They took their time, the excitement building slowly. Soft kissing and caressing, a fire in their flesh growing steadily, no hurry. D'Argo never stopped comparing, of how it felt to be in Eilynn. To feel her chest pressed against his. To feel her thighs as they gripped his waist. To feel her hot and naturally wet depths around him.

So different from Crichton.

When the climax finally came, their bodies tensed to stone, their moans were loud and long. D'Argo felt his release pushing out hard and slow. Oh so slow. He moaned until there was no more air left in his lungs. Then his bones dissolved and he slumped down, careful not to rest all of his weight on Eilynn. Not the way he did with Crichton.

Lifting himself up he rolled onto his back next to her and breathed deeply. His eyes shot wide when he caught a familiar scent.

It was Crichton's, and it was close.

Lifting himself up on his elbows he turned towards the door and was able to catch the faint sound of footsteps moving quickly down the corridor.

Resting back down on the bed he sighed deeply. Crichton must have come by to see him and, no doubt, heard what was going on. Suddenly D'Argo felt a hard lump in the pit of his stomach. How could he have done this? How could he have betrayed Crichton like this? He had sworn an oath, yet he’d just broken it without a thought. He knew he needed to speak to John as soon as possible.

Eilynn slid her arm across his chest and rested her head on his shoulder. "I've been thinking a lot lately," she whispered.

"About what?" D’Argo could feel himself becoming anxious. He wanted to languish in this moment with Eilynn but he needed to make things right with John.

She began stroking his chest. "If Crichton is successful in making a wormhole, I will send the ships through but I won't be going with them."

D'Argo propped himself up on one elbow and looked down at her. "You won’t! Why not?"

Eilynn sat up before responding. "I can't do this anymore. I can't be their leader; it's killing me. As long as I'm with them they'll look to me. I need to get away from it, from them."

D'Argo gave her a confused look.

Eilynn couldn’t help giggling. "Please don't get me wrong. I love them and only want them to be safe but they all look to me as if I’m the only one with the right answers. I thought that I could be a good leader but it's too much for me to handle. I'm going to make a terrible mistake some day and I fear it will cost lives. Breg and Ka'Halen are smart and just as capable as I am. They're also stronger." She continued to caress his chest as she spoke. "I've been thinking about this for a long time, I'm not the ingenius leader they've made me out to be, and I'm miserable. What we've just shared reminded me of the happiness I've missed in my life. I never should've left Moya, I never should've left you."

D'Argo's mind was a whirlwind of turmoil. His heart leaped at the thought of having Eilynn back but he still cared for Crichton. How could he possibly choose between them?

His expression must have betrayed his thoughts as Eilynn caught the unhappy look that flashed across his face. "Do you want me to stay?" her voice cracked as she spoke.

D'Argo looked at her, forcing a smile. "Of course I do."

"Then why do you look so upset?" she paused. "Is it because of Crichton?"

He now gave her a hard stare. "What do you know of me and Crichton?"

Eilynn looked away, realizing that she'd been caught. "The other night I went looking for Crichton. It was when I first had the idea about the wormhole. He wasn't in his quarters so I asked Pilot and he said that Crichton was in your quarters. I went there and the lights were off so I peeked in through the bars and…"

"And, what?" There was a twinge of anger in his voice.

"And I saw you and him asleep. Lying together naked as we are now." Eilynn looked at him with confused eyes. "I didn’t understand what I saw and was unsure if I should ask."

D'Argo straightened his posture, feeling slightly defensive. "Well, now is your chance. What do you want to ask?"

"Well…I…um," Eilynn stammered. "Why were you two like that?"

"The same reason we are like this," he said calmly. "John and I had sex and then fell asleep."

Eilynn was now more confused than ever. "But how? You and he are both male! How can you…I mean, two men can't…I don't understand! Is Crichton shaped like me?" she pointed towards her groin.

"No, he's shaped like me."

"But then how do you…?"

D'Argo couldn't help but smile. Eilynn was still so naive. "Arousal, pleasure and affection are all things produced by the mind, the body is just a tool. We share a closeness and stimulate each other to climax. It's not much different from what you and I share."

"Do you care for him?" She was staring at him with a touch of worry.

"Yes, very much."

"More than you do for me?"

He laughed out loud at the thought that Eilynn now perceived John as a rival. "No, not more. Equal…but different."

"Different because he's a man?"

"Different because he's Crichton and you're Eilynn."

Eilynn looked down at her hands. "I guess it was foolish of me to think that you wouldn't find someone else while I was gone. Foolish and selfish."

"I'm the one who is selfish," D’Argo said. "Crichton and I are sword brothers which means we swore an oath. I just broke that oath."

"Because you were with me?"

He nodded. "I just caught Crichton's scent by the door. I think he heard us."

Eilynn put her hand on his shoulder. "Then you should go to him."

D'Argo looked at her. She gave him an understanding smile but her eyes held a twinge of jealousy.

* * * * *

John wasn't in his quarters.

D'Argo had to ask Pilot to scan for his comm. badge and was told that Crichton was in the main cargo bay.

D'Argo found Crichton helping Breg move some of the crates that had been brought over from the I-Tone.

"Crichton!" D'Argo called out as he approached.

Crichton turned to face the approaching Luxan with angry eyes. D'Argo stopped just a few feet away and the two men stared at each other in silence.

Sensing the tension Breg excused himself and left the bay, closing the door behind him.

"What do you want?" Crichton sneered.

"I caught your scent outside my quarters earlier," D'Argo said. "When I was…"

"When you were fucking Eilynn!" John growled.

D'Argo kept his eyes locked on Crichton's. "I don't blame you for being angry. It was selfish of me."

"Your damn right it was selfish!" Crichton spat. "I've seen how pissed-off you get when I even look at Aeryn yet the first chance you get you go jump Eilynn!"

"I know, I was wrong." D'Argo took a few steps closer. "I was just…"

"Just what?" Crichton took a step closer to D'Argo. "If our positions were reversed you'd beat the shit out of me!"

The two stared at each other. Looking into D'Argo's eyes, Crichton heard that song in his head, tugging at his insides.

"I want to be that complete.

I want to touch the light, the heat I see.

In your eyes."

"John, I still care for her. I can't deny that." D'Argo spoke softly. "It is something I'm struggling with."

"You're struggling?" Crichton half smiled sarcastically.

"It's hard for me to tell you, but I have to be honest with you."

Crichton moved up so their faces were close. "Do you have any idea how much it hurts to hear you say that?" he whispered.

D'Argo's heart sank; he could clearly see the hurt in John's eyes. He reached up to touch him but Crichton slapped his hand away.

"Don't touch me!" he said, backing up. "Just stay the fuck away from me!"

"John…"

Crichton turned around and sat down on one of the crates. When he looked up at D'Argo his expression had softened. "For get about it. Just forget about it, okay?"

"John, I…"

"No! It's okay," Crichton said raising his hands. "If Alex showed up right now, I would want to be with her. I would do the exact same thing."

"Do you really feel that way or are you just…"

"Let's just drop it. Okay!" Crichton yelled. Standing back up he walked over to one of the crates and started dragging it towards others like it.

"Do you want me to help you?" D’Argo asked.

"You know, I just want you to go away and leave me alone for a while."

"Crichton…"

Crichton raised his hand at D'Argo. "No, I'm fine, it's cool. I just want to be alone, okay?"

D'Argo nodded solemnly and left the room.

As soon as Crichton heard the door close he kicked the crate as hard as he could.

"Sure, that's just fine, big guy," he said out loud to himself. "Go ahead, have sex with Eilynn. Fuck her brains out! Why should I care, after all she’s got all those wonderful girl parts."

He walked around the room and sat down on a crate near the row of body bags along the far wall. "Am I being unreasonable, guys?" he said to the bodies. "Hell, look at me. I'm upset because my boyfriend has a girlfriend. Boy, that sounds pretty fucked-up, doesn't it?"

He rubbed his face and then slammed his fist down on the crate. "I knew this was gonna happen. I just KNEW IT! Why would he need me when he's got her? Soft, delicate little thing. No, big guy, I bet you won't be tossing her on the bed or shoving her up against the wall or twisting her arm up behind her back. You wouldn't dare try any of that rough stuff on her."

Crichton let his mind drift to memories of having sex with D'Argo. It could get pretty rough sometimes but boy, it was good! He couldn't remember sex with a woman being as good. Taking note of how he felt he looked down at the bulge that was appearing in his pants.

"Jesus, man! You can't even think about D'Argo without popping a boner! God, I'm so fucked up. The next thing I know I'll be getting the hots for Rygel!"

This last statement had the desired effect as the obtrusive bulge subsided. It was nice to know that he could always rely on the un-arousing effect thoughts of Rygel had.

His anger stared to diminish and gave way to hurt. God, it hurt to hear D'Argo in his room with Eilynn. It hurt to feel betrayed, or worse, to be second best. He wanted to understand, to be supportive but he just couldn't. He didn't want to be sympathetic and tolerant, he wanted D'Argo all to himself. If that made him selfish then so be it. He knew now that if Alex walked up to him right now and wanted to have sex she would be shit-outta-luck.

The only one John wanted was D'Argo!

His song rang in his head again with surprising clarity.

"Love, I don't like to see so much pain.

So much wasted…

…and this moment keeps slipping away."

He knew that he needed to find D'Argo and tell him how he felt.

So lost in his thoughts he didn't hear the rustling of the body bag behind him.

In the empty cargo bay no one saw the corpse raise up

No one saw the flash of light.

No one heard Crichton scream.

TO BE CONTINUED…