"Butches and Femmes and Spankings, Oh My!"

TITLE: "Butches and Femmes and Spankings, Oh My!"
AUTHOR: Aiobheann
RATING: NC-17 Harsh language, implied f/f sexual activity, implied group
sex, kink.
PAIRING: Chiana/Zhaan/Aeryn
SUMMARY: The sequel to "Love Under Pressure." This is for my listsibs, who wondered what the girls were up to while John and D'Argo were making "hot first time
monkey love."
DISCLAIMER: Henson owns the crew of Moya, although when they are acting like this, I'm not sure Henson'd want 'em. The story itself is all my fault -- copyright
Aiobheann, 2000.
FEEDBACK: Yes, please, even if only to tell me how mentally ill I am.
ARCHIVE: Smutscape, Aiobheann's Farscape blah blah blah.

Aeryn stretched her neck, slowly working the kinks out of it. She felt as if she had slept for too long, and in some strange position. Soft noises impinged on her awareness, and she looked around, realizing with a start that she was sitting up in a chair, her wrists tied behind her, feet lashed securely to the legs of the chair. She was in one of the crew quarters, she knew that much.

/What happened? How did I get in here? The last thing I remember is --/

-- a plump woman with short brown hair and a T-shirt that said "Sith Lords Kick Ass" on it, whatever the frell that meant. And she was armed, and .../That bitch shot me! Oooh, just let me get my hands on her, I'll kill her!/

"What the frell is going on here?!?" she opened her mouth to shout in the commanding, piercing voice that years as a PeaceKeeper had allowed her to hone, but what came out instead was a small, strangled "eep."

All thought fled on little silvery wings of astonishment as she got her first good look at what was happening on the bed across the room.

/Oh./

/Oh my./

/That's not -- ?/

/Well, I guess it *is* possible to --/

/Oh./

She craned her head to the side, attempting to unscramble the tangle of blue arms and legs and grey arms and legs, and -- um -- various other...stuff...on the bed.

"What the frell is going on here?" Aeryn said, in a much quieter and much more plaintively confused tone than she had previously intended.

"Hmmm?" Zhaan said distractedly, head popping up from the fray. "Oh, you're awake. She said it wouldn't keep you out long."

"Who? What happened to me?"

Another head appeared, peering out from under a rather shapely and well-turned blue thigh.

"Well, you had a nice little nappie-poo, courtesy of our fanfic writer. She's right," Chiana said, looking at Aeryn consideringly.

"You /are/ a pill. But you're pretty cute, isn't she, Zhaan?"

"Indeed." Zhaan mused, getting up from the bed and ignoring Chiana's pouty whine of displeasure.

Aeryn's eyes widened as she took in Zhaan's nude form advancing toward her across the room, and she snapped her eyes closed, thinking, /That's not something you see every day...wait, never mind, it's Zhaan, we *do* see her naked every day./ She opened her eyes again, fully intending to look up at Zhaan's face, but got no farther than, well, eye level. /Her/ eye level, anyway.

"Blue everywhere." Aeryn said wonderingly.

"Oh, for Goddess' sake! Can't anyone get over that? Of /course/ I'm fucking blue everywhere!" Zhaan snapped in irritation.

"I'm not," Chiana purred, coming over and propping one foot on Aeryn's leg, tilting her hips to push her little grey bush in Aeryn's face. "Wanna see?"

"Showoff. As if there's anyone in the uncharted territories who /hasn't/ seen it." Zhaan muttered.

"Yeah, well, not all of us are 800 cycles old. What I've got is /worth/ showing off." Chiana dropped her foot and turned a pirouette in front of Aeryn, who was beginning to look a little glazed around the eyes.

"And all 800 cycles filled with the kind of experience /you'll/ never have, my dear," Zhaan said, giving Chiana a push to get her out of Aeryn's line of sight. Chiana screeched as she tumbled to the floor, immediately bouncing to her feet and delivering a stinging slap to Zhaan's face.

A furious tangle of blue and grey extremities hit the deck with a thump as Zhaan launched herself at Chiana and grabbed a handful of her hair.

"Bitch!"

"Tired old cunt!"

Chiana pealed off screams like a hyperactive car alarm as Zhaan busily tried to snatch her baldheaded. She herself, meanwhile, had latched onto one of Zhaan's ears and was enthusiastically yanking Zhaan's head back and forth like a rat terrier on PCP.

Aeryn watched with gape-mouthed awe as the two rolled and tumbled, catching enticing glimpses of plump breasts and assorted naughty bits as the fight raged on.

"Hey!" Aeryn yelled.

She was totally ignored. Chiana had Zhaan face down and was sitting astride her, thumping her on the back of the head and cooing happily every time Zhaan bucked and tried to throw her off, grinding herself against Zhaan's ass.

"HEY!" Aeryn pursed her lips and let loose a piercing whistle. Both heads turned toward her.

"Will somebody tell me what the hezmana is going on here?" Aeryn demanded.

"The fanfic writer showed up and said something about wanting to see some 'hot first time monkey love' from John and D'Argo, and she knocked them out and then had us help her get them into John's quarters." Chiana replied, getting off of Zhaan and giving her a shove with one dainty foot.

"Yes, we also stripped them nude and left them laid out on John's bed," Zhaan said dreamily.

"Why?" Aeryn asked.

"You can't hear that?" Chiana motioned towards the corridor. Aeryn paused, listening.

"Who's your daddy?" Crichton was bellowing, accompanied by slapping, fleshy-sounding noises and a girlish scream.

"Who's the woman he's with? Is Crichton fucking the fanfic writer?" Aeryn asked, feeling a stab of jealousy mingled with revulsion. /Well, everybody has kinks, but that sort of thing just isn't done! I mean, the writer? Ewwww, squick! I can't stand Mary Sues! Besides, what about all the 'shipper fanfic we've done together? I feel so betrayed./

"What woman?" Zhaan asked, climbing to her feet and shooting a menace-filled glance at Chiana. "That's D'Argo, my dear."

"Harder, John, harder!" D'Argo called out.

The three looked at each other in silence for a few microts.

"Right." Aeryn said. "Untie me."

"You're not going to hurt us or anything, are you?" Chiana simpered.

"Not too much. But you've been a bad girl, Chiana. I may just have to spank you."

Chiana bounced up and down, clapping her hands gleefully. Zhaan ran over, pleading, "Oooh, spank me too! I've been most awfully bad!"

"And after the spankings -- the oral sex!" Aeryn announced.

Zhaan and Chiana hurried to untie her. "I just /love/ big strong butches," Chiana sighed.

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