Say My Name

Author: Fangrrl

Pairing: Spike/Xander

Rating: Adults Only

Fandom: Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Disclaimer: Buffy belongs to Joss Whedon, not me. No money is being made.

Written for 10_cliche_fics, prompt: Right first time.

Date: 02/08/07

Thanks to electricalgwen for the beta.

"Well now, Droopy, you're looking a little droopier than usual. Big apocalypse brewing? Red turn your girl into a toad, what? Come on, you can tell your old pal Spike."

"Go away, Spike. I just want to drink myself into a coma and I'd like to do it without your annoying voice...annoying me." Well, that's what Xander tries to say. His lips are a little numb.

"How many have you had, Harris?" Spike is chuckling at him. And that's just too much. Xander can't handle that on top of everything else that has happened tonight. He stands up to tell Spike exactly what he thinks about his interfering, annoying self but his feet feel a little mushy, or maybe it's the floor that's mushy. So when he tries to stand he stumbles right into Spike--whose hands catch him automatically.

"Okay, you've definitely had enough. Let's see if we can get you home uneaten."

"Just go away, Spike. I don't need any help." But Xander's feet are moving towards the door, with a lot of help from Spike. The cool night air smacks him in the face after the warmth inside the Bronze, and suddenly Xander feels a little bit more sober than he did five seconds ago. And Spike still has a hold on his arm.

"You can let me go now. I can walk."

"Peachy. Now just don't hurl on my shoes, and we'll stay peachy."

"Not gonna hurl. Just need some sleep."

"You never did say what started off this night of heavy drinking." Spike stops abruptly. "Something happen to Buffy?"

"Buffy's fine. It's Anya. She left. Left me, left Sunnydale. She packed up all her stuff, moved to LA." Xander thinks about how empty the apartment feels now without her things and sniffles a little.

"Oh come on now, you're not crying are you? I swear, Harris, you are the biggest girl I've ever met. Man up." Spike jostles him with his elbow, making Xander swerve a bit. His feet still feel drunk.

"You know what your problem is, mate? You hang out with too many girls. A man needs to be free to do manly stuff. You can't do that with women hanging about all the time."

"You know what? You're right. I never thought I would say this, but you, Spike, tonight, for one night only, you are right." Xander stops walking and faces Spike.

"Do you have any idea what it's like hanging out with girls all the time? Day and night, nothing but girls. Don't get me wrong, the Xan-man loves the ladies, but sometimes I wonder what it would be like to have some guy friends."

Spike tilts his head to the side and looks at Xander strangely for a moment. Then he shakes his head like he's shaking off his thoughts and starts walking again.

"Well, I'm not your friend, mate, so don't get any ideas. The minute I get this chip out, I'm going to suck you dry."

Xander starts laughing at the probably unintentional double entendre, but Spike doesn't even look embarrassed. He just looks at Xander sideways like, I meant to say that.

"You think I'm kidding? I get this chip out, and you'll find out. I'll come up behind you so quietly you'll never hear a thing. I'll shove you into a dark alley and push you up against the wall and slip inside you before you can say a word."

Xander has to stop walking because he can't walk and laugh this hard at the same time when his feet are drunk. Spike has to be doing this on purpose, but when he looks up Spike is looking at him like he's nuts.

"What's so bloody funny? I'm threatening to kill you, mate, you got a death wish?"

"No, just everything you say sounds like you want to sex me up, not kill me."

"Sex you up? You? Not bleeding likely. Have you for dinner, maybe, on a slow night."

Xander's mouth must be drunk too, because it says "Don't you mean for dessert?" Which would have sounded flirty if Xander hadn't ruined it by snorting and laughing. Stupid drunk mouth. Spike snarls at him and stomps off, duster billowing behind him.

"Oh come on. That had to be on purpose. 'Slip inside you'?" Xander's giggling again.

"My fangs, you moron. I'm going to..." Spike stops walking and whirls around suddenly. His coat really does look cool when he does that. His hands reach out towards Xander like he's going to strangle him, but he just clenches his hands into fists and drops them to his sides and starts walking again.

"Going to what, Spike? Suck me? Slip inside me? Eat me? What? Why are you walking away? I thought we were having a moment here. You were telling me all about how much you want me." Spike is walking fast and he's a good distance away, but Xander knows he can still hear every word he's saying. Spike's bristling like a tomcat and stomping his feet. Oh yeah, taunt the vampire. A much better game than drink away the sorrows. Xander runs for a second to catch up with Spike and bumps him with his shoulder.

"Don't go away mad, lover." Xander can't keep a straight face, much as he wants to. Spike completely ignores him and they walk together in silence for a few moments until suddenly Spike moves so quickly Xander's eyes can't track him and he pulls Xander into one of Sunnydale's many dark alleys. He pushes Xander against the wall and grabs the front of his shirt.

"I should teach you a lesson, boy."

"Boy? BOY? I'm not a boy, Spike." Xander tries to push Spike off of him but it's like pushing against solid rock.

"And let's not forget, you can't hurt me, Chiphead. So all this manly aggression is going where, exactly? Unless you want to top off this lovely night with a migraine."

Spike scowls and pushes his body harder into Xander. And Xander can feel Spike hard against his hip. Spike's hard.

And maybe it's just from the fight, and maybe it's not. Xander thinks about the 'maybe it's not' part for a second too long, and he's starting to feel a little warm. Spike is looking at him like he'd like to bite his face off, and he's so close. His lips are right there, all Xander would have to do is move forward a little and they'd be kissing. And Xander's dick must be drunk too, because that doesn't sound like a disgusting idea at all. He should be disgusted by the thought of kissing Spike, but instead he's looking at Spike's mouth and it's getting harder to breathe. He looks up into Spike's eyes and back down to his mouth. Spike doesn't look mad anymore. He looks like Xander feels. He's panting a little and he looks confused. And he's looking at Xander's mouth, too. So Xander leans forward just that little bit and their lips are touching.

They're kissing.

Spike's hands let go of his shirt and suddenly he doesn't feel like stone anymore, Spike practically melts into him. His hands go up into Xander's hair and Xander wraps his arms around him and pulls him closer. Spike's tongue flickers against his lips and Xander opens up for him. When their tongues touch they both moan and then they're really kissing. God, Spike can kiss. It's deep and wet and seems to last for hours and Xander feels like he's making way too much noise. He's moaning and his breathing sounds so loud to his own ears and he realizes it's because Spike isn't breathing at all. And that's just not fair, and Xander breaks the kiss to tell him so, but he can't talk because now Spike is kissing over his jaw and down his neck and oh god that feels good. Spike's tongue on his neck is sending shivers up and down his body and Xander wants more. Then he hears people walking by and laughing loudly and Spike stops what he's doing at the sound and looks up. And Xander realizes that he's in a dark alley making out with a vampire and that is such a bad idea. He pushes Spike away from him and straightens up his clothes a bit to give himself time to think about what he wants to do here. When he looks back up at Spike, the look on his face shocks him. Spike looks hurt. Rejected. But he covers it quickly with a sniff and suddenly the Big Bad mask is back on. And Xander realizes that it is a mask. He feels something twist inside his chest and he makes up his mind. Xander grabs Spike's hand and pulls him out of the alley and back towards his apartment.


When they get to his door and Xander is fumbling for his keys, Spike is looking around kind of shifty eyed, like he's looking for a back way out. Which is weird, since they're standing in a hallway, but Xander gets the feeling that Spike is ready to bolt. So he gets the door open quickly and grabs Spike's hand again to pull him in the door and Spike smacks into the barrier, hard.

"Ow. Need an invite, you dolt." He's looking a little pouty and rubbing his forehead like it actually hurt.

"You mean physically pulling you inside isn't enough of an invite? I have to actually say it? That's weird." Xander pulls again, watching Spike hit the barrier again, but not very hard this time. He bounces back a little and scowls at Xander, but doesn't try to pull his hand away.

"Just invite me in, Harris. This is stupid."

"I think it's fun. Bounce, bounce, bounce, like Tigger!" He tugs on Spike's hand again and makes him bounce into the barrier a few more times until Spike's had enough and snarls at him and pulls his hand back.

"I'm kidding, Spike, come in."

He smacks into Xander with his shoulder as he goes by. "Brat."

"Jeez, so touchy tonight." Spike's eyes glitter at that and he makes a grab for Xander's belt loops, pulling him closer.

"Just want some touch, is all. How about you? Change your mind?"

And Xander is right back where he was ten minutes ago, looking at Spike's mouth and thinking bad, naked thoughts. He grabs the back of Spike's head and kisses him hard as an answer to that question. He pushes Spike away again and pulls his shirt off and tosses it over his shoulder as he walks towards the bedroom. He doesn't look back to see if Spike follows, just goes into the bedroom and starts taking his jeans off. When he turns around, Spike is already there and he's naked. Like, all of his clothes are gone and they aren't on the floor, and Xander is getting ready to ask him what the hell just happened, but he can't talk because Spike's tongue is in his mouth again and his hands are taking off his jeans.

Naked now, and Xander lies down on his back and feels a bit like a virgin sacrifice spread out for the demon hovering over him. And Spike isn't helping, he's looking Xander over and licking his lips. Xander wriggles a bit, uncomfortable and nervous and wondering where all of his bravado went. Then Spike lies down on him and when their skin touches it's like electricity. Xander's breath whooshes out of him and he revels in the feeling of skin on skin. Oh god, naked, naked Spike, all that pale silky skin pressing against his own. Xander stretches beneath him. Glorious. That's how he feels. He opens his eyes and Spike's eyes are right there. So blue and burning into him with intensity that's almost overwhelming. Xander raises his hands up to Spike's face and strokes over his cheeks, bringing him down for another hard, toe-curling kiss.

Spike pushes up and rakes his eyes over Xander's body again, like a man looking over a menu. It should freak him out, make him feel like dinner for the vampire in his bed, but it doesn't. And maybe he's still drunk, but it makes Xander feel sexy, that Spike wants to look at him naked. It turns him on, turning Spike on. Xander takes a deep breath and indulges his own desire to look. Looks at Spike's chest and takes in the sleek muscles of his arms, his shoulders, and the way they curve into almost delicate looking collarbones. Xander's eyes rake over Spike's body, and what he sees makes his mouth water. He wants to lick every part of him, starting with those abs. He doesn't notice how hard he's breathing now. His chest is heaving and he feels like he's on fire. Xander looks down to where Spike's cock is brushing against his thigh, sees the rosy head peeking out, and something breaks inside of him. Years of surreptitious glances at guys and hoping desperately not to get caught looking and now he can look. He can look and look and touch if he wants and a feeling of freedom washes through him. A knot tied tight in his chest that he didn't realize was there comes undone.

Xander finally raises his eyes back up to Spike's face. Spike is grinning like a mad man and the smug is rolling off him in waves.

"See something you like, Harris?"

"It's Xander, Spike. Xander. Call me Xander."

"Make me."

And Xander just can't take it anymore. It's too much, this entire night has been too much. Anya's gone, and Xander's drunk and he made out with Spike in an alley, and he just can't take this too on top of everything else. Can't take the smug look on Spike's face one second longer. He rears up and takes Spike by surprise, flipping him over so he's the one on top now. Grabs Spike's hands and presses them down to the bed, straddles his legs and gives in to the desire to just take what he wants. Xander licks and sucks and bites wherever he wants, all over Spike's neck and chest, sloppy and wet and the sucking noises he's making should be embarrassing but all he can think about is all that creamy pale skin he wants to taste. Wants to mark. Spike is wriggling around and moaning and maybe laughing a little at Xander's enthusiasm. He sucks Spike's nipple into his mouth and works it until Spike is moaning and trying to get his hands free, but Xander bites and holds his nipple with his teeth and presses his hands back down. He looks up at Spike to see his reaction and Spike is panting. Panting for him, because Xander is sucking on his skin and won't let him move his hands.

"Keep 'em there."

Xander doesn't know where that voice is coming from, that sexy dark voice that came out of his mouth that doesn't sound anything like his Xander voice. He sounds dangerous and intent. Spike seems to like that too, and he moans and nods his head. Spike's stomach is heaving in time with his pants, and Xander needs to taste this part of him now. He licks and sucks over the hard muscles of Spike's stomach, tracing them with his tongue, biting down hard when he feels like it. Spike groans when he feels Xander's teeth. So Xander keeps doing it. Sucking the skin into his mouth and scraping his teeth over it. Biting the muscles that ripple when Spike moves. And Spike is moving now. His hips are wiggling and he keeps flexing his arms hard, like he wants to touch Xander but remembers he's not supposed to move. Spike is obeying him. Xander likes that. Decides to reward him for being good.

Xander moves lower until Spike's cock is brushing his cheek. Xander's never done this, but he knows what he likes in a blowjob, so he thinks he can figure it out. He rubs his lips on it, just touching it. Then he licks his lips and rubs his mouth up to the head. He looks up at Spike and sees him looking at him. When their eyes meet Spike groans, so Xander sucks the head into his mouth. Xander closes his eyes again and starts tonguing the spongy head in his mouth. Running his tongue all around and flicking over the slit. He sucks more of Spike's cock into his mouth and just holds it there. Tasting it. Then he lets it fall out of his mouth and looks back up at Spike.

"What's my name, Spike?"

Spike's chest is heaving and he looks confused for a second. Xander doesn't break eye contact and licks a little kitten lick over Spike's cock. He grunts and says, "Don't stop now, Harris."

Xander bites his inner thigh, hard.

"What's my name?"

"Ow! Fuck! That hurt, you wanker." But Spike is smiling now, and the glint in his eye is a challenge. Xander feels something big welling up inside of him and he sits up suddenly and grabs Spike's shoulder and flips him over. Pushes Spike down and starts sucking and biting and licking again, all over the back of his neck and shoulders and Xander wonders why Spike is letting him do this. He could toss him off in a second, even with the chip. It probably wouldn't even go off if Xander landed on the bed.

Xander bites down hard on the nape of Spike's neck and just holds him there. Spike stops moving, stops moaning and maybe even stops breathing. Xander just holds on, mindless now with lust. Breathing hard, his heart pounding in his chest. Xander lets go and licks over the marks he made. Grabs Spike's hands and pulls them over his head and pins them down again. And a thought makes its way through the desire and suddenly he gets it. He figures something out. Spike likes this. Likes Xander manhandling him and pushing him around. Xander smiles and runs his hands over the marks on Spike's back, grabs his ass with both hands and squeezes. That makes Spike start breathing again, and he moans a little. Xander kneads the flesh in his hands, spreading his cheeks apart and pushing them back together. Spike spreads his legs further apart and is kind of humping the bed. So Xander grabs his hips and pulls him up on all fours then pushes down on his neck until his head is on the pillow and his ass is raised high.

"Stay there." Xander's voice is growly and low and he feels deeply satisfied when all Spike does is nod a little in response. He stays in the position Xander has pushed him into, and his arms wrap around the pillow under his head as if he's seeking comfort. As if he's scared of Xander, of what Xander might do. Xander really likes that. He runs his hands over Spike's back again and pushes his cock against Spike's ass. Letting him know exactly what he plans on doing. Spike shudders and hugs the pillow closer. Oh god. Xander feels like he's going to lose it. Like he's just going to go wild and let loose years of frustration on this man in his bed who looks so vulnerable and needy. He knows, in the back of his mind, that Spike is none of those things, not a man, and certainly not vulnerable, not to Xander anyway. Except that he is. Because he wants to be. Because he's letting himself be.

And yes, part of that is the chip, but it's not like Spike couldn't put a stop to this if he wanted to, even with the chip preventing him from hurting Xander. It doesn't stop him from leaping away with vampire speed, doesn't stop him from running out of here, and it definitely doesn't stop his mouth from lashing out with deadly, hurtful words that could make Xander bleed just as surely as his fangs and fists could.

No, Spike is putting on an act, and giving it up to Xander. Giving up and giving in, and it's because he wants to. Wants Xander. Wants Xander to take him and move him and possess him. It's a heady feeling, to have that kind of power over such a creature. It makes Xander's head spin.

Xander reaches over and gets a tube of slick out of the drawer and tosses it on the bed next to Spike's head so he can see it. Spike's breath hitches a little and he shivers all over like he's nervous now. Xander grins and smacks him on the ass, just to see what he'll do. Spike tenses all over and shudders again, so Xander hits him again. He loves what it does to Spike, makes him tense up for a second, then shake and shudder. He keeps spanking him, loving the feeling of his hand smacking that perfect pale skin, the way Spike pushes back into the blows, the silky feeling of his skin warming under his hand. Spike is hugging his pillow tight and tiny sounds are coming out of his throat. Xander stops hitting him and waits until Spike opens his eyes again to reach for the lube. Spike groans and hides his face in the pillow.

Xander pushes Spike's legs further apart and spreads him open so he can see everything. Spike's pink pucker winks at him, and Xander can't help himself, he leans in and gives it a lick. Spike cries out in surprise then settles back down. Xander rubs the lube in his hand for a second, warming it up, then rubs his fingers over Spike's asshole. Then he spreads the lube over his cock grabs the back of Spike's neck with his other hand and pushes in, just a little. Spike moans and Xander can feel his asshole clenching around the head of his dick. He waits a second for Spike to relax a bit, then pushes in a little more. He can feel Spike bearing down, so he keeps pushing in, never letting the pressure up, then he just slides in all the way until his hips are pressing against Spike's ass. He moves his hand off of Spike's neck and slaps him on the ass again. Spike clenches hard around him and Xander groans.

He can't wait anymore, so he starts moving. He fucks Spike slowly, long deep thrusts that push Spike's body up towards the headboard until his head is hitting it with every thrust and he has to put his hands out to push against it. But Xander likes his head hitting the headboard, so he grabs Spike's hands again and pins them down.

"I told you not to move your hands." He starts fucking him again, not as hard but it still makes Spike's head bump into the wood. After a few minutes of that fun he pulls them both back down towards the foot of the bed, then starts fucking him harder than before. Spike is moaning and working his hips back and god, it's the hottest thing he's ever seen. His cock sliding in and out of Spike's gorgeous ass, Spike's body bent and submissive under him. The sounds Spike is making are driving him crazy. He sees Spike moving his hand down to grab his own cock and Xander stops. Pulls out and smacks Spike hard on the ass again. Grabs his jeans on the floor and pulls the belt out of the loops. Spike's watching him with wide eyes and clenching his hands in the sheets. Xander just smiles at him, says nothing. Grabs Spike's hands and gathers them together and wraps the belt around them, pulls it tight and fastens it.

"Since you can't behave." Xander gets back on the bed, grabs Spike's hips and thrusts in hard, sliding right in. Spike cries out and pulls against his restraints. But not very hard, Xander notices. He knows Spike could rip the leather right in two. But he doesn't. Just pulls like he's testing it, like he wants to feel his hands being restrained. Xander slides in and out, seeing how far he can get in, trying different angles until he does something that makes Spike tense all over and yelp. So he does it again and Spike yelps again and moans loudly. Xander keeps doing it, thrusting hard and grinding against that place inside Spike that's making him freak out. He reaches around and squeezes Spike's dripping, hard cock and Spike tightens up around him. Then Xander runs his hands over Spike's arms, feeling the tight leather binding his hands together. Runs his fingers over the delicate skin of his wrists. He leans up and starts fucking Spike again. Finds the right angle again and fucks him hard. Wants to make him come, just from this, from his hard cock pounding into him.

"Just this, Spike, just this. You're going to come for me, from my cock fucking your ass, as hard as I want. I want you to come, Spike, like this, bent over for me and tied up. Come for me, Spike."

Spike tightens around him and cries out "Oh, oh, fuck yeah, oh, Xander..." and comes. Xander doesn't stop, keeps right on fucking him until Spike is sobbing and muttering something that sounds like please. Xander pulls on the belt, releasing Spike's hands, still thrusting into his body, his movements getting ragged as he nears his own release. Right before he's sure he's going to come, he pulls out, pushes Spike over onto his back, jerks his dick a couple of times and comes all over Spike, splattering his chest and stomach and maybe even his face.

Spike is looking up at him with an expression Xander's never seen. He looks amazed, and bewildered and very well fucked. Xander's breath evens out and he finally starts to calm down. And now he's starting to feel nervous about what he's done here. While he was in the moment it felt right, somehow, but now he's worried he might have pushed things too far. He grabs a shirt off the floor and hands it to Spike so he can clean up.

"Are you okay?" Xander's voice still sounds rough to his own ears. Spike doesn't answer, just cleans up and tosses the shirt aside, pulls Xander down to him and wraps his arms around him.

"I'm more than okay, pet. Bloody hell, that was amazing. Didn't know you had it in you." Spike's words are a bit slurred, like he's ready to pass out. Xander sympathizes. He feels like he could sleep for days. He nuzzles down into Spike's arms and relaxes. Kisses the side of his head. Then he snorts a little laugh and props himself up on one elbow, looking down at Spike.

"What, do I still have some on my face?"

"No. You called me Xander."

Spike snorts at that and rolls his eyes. "I was in the moment. Don't get used to it, Droopy Boy."

"Whatever, Fangless."

They snuggle back down together and both fall asleep in minutes.




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